Gay Marriage: Is it still ruining YOUR life?

Look, I don't know why they STILL aren't asking me to write these adverts. I would do them so much better:

*Stormy weather, lightening crackles...*
Figures stand around, of many different creeds and ethnic groups. There aren't any gay, or british people there, because British people are pretty gay, I think.
The WASP woman: BAD THINGS ARE COMING
The token black guy: REMEMBER BIBLE CLASS?
Indian guy: That rapture thing?
Nazi guy: IT's SOOOOO happening. Honest.
*sudden crazy lightening... the sky parts... and ELTON JOHN APPEARS!*
Elton John: I'm GONNA FUCKING RUIN YOU ALL!
All the non gay/british people scream...
WASP woman: FUCK YOU ELTON JOHN!
Elton John: *Laughs* BITCH, YOUR MARRIAGE IS TOAST!
WASP Woman: *cries*
Elton John then turns to the black guy: Seen your son lately?
BG: Uh... no, I think he's at school...
Elton John: *smirks, in a gay/british way* in a public school?
BG: Why... yes- *stops, is in shock* No! YOU MONSTER!
*the black guy's son appears.*
BG's Son: Daddy, guess what I learnt today?
BG: *Breathes heavily, starts looking really worried* Not... not about...
BG's Son: I learn how I can marry a prince!
BG: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Elton John: And that's not all! I also gave out free copies of my CDs!
BG's Son: Look Daddy, I can sing Tiny Dancer now!
BG: *sobs...*
Doctor Lady: *suddenly rushes forward* Don't worry- I can save your song from the gay!
BG: *heart lightens* Rrrreally?
DL: YES!
Elton: OH NO YOU CAN'T
DL: Why?
Elton: BECAUSE NOW GAY PEOPLE CAN MARRY... UHM... YOU FOR SOME REASON CAN'T BE A DOCTOR...
DL: NO! *she stops doing doctorly things, and is paralyzed forever. Plus maybe she's turned gay. I don't know*
*the camera zooms out, showing general destruction that is caused by Elton John and his gang. Straight people are shown crying, their marriages ruined, and left worthless-
Indian Guy: I now no longer love my wife, ever since gay people can marry! -
the background music is We Are The Champions, by Queen*

See?
WHY don't I get to make these adverts????
It had everything - A celebraty appearence, action, a cool soundtrack, and a little kid to pull on the heart strings of all the adults.
Although it may've had a few too many capsloks. But this is because I needed to get out my rage somehow.

(In case you didn't know: this is the second time I've shown my superior script writing skills off. You can find the first time here. I don't know which is better. Probably the first, because then I had optimism.)