Princes marrying Princes? Not on my fat man watch!

I like the way they used a fat man. That, to me, is the image I get of heterosexuality today.
And that actress? Yes I, too, associate weirdly random changing emotion faces with heterosexuals.
As for the words.... god, I could write a better commercial.
Example:
Child: Hey Mom... guess what I learnt at school today?
Mother: (Busies herself cooking, keeps her eyes on the floor), Uhm. What?
Child: I learnt about how gays fuck like animals, and that they all oughta be killed. What's for tea, mom?
Mother: (Does the face thing)
Fat Man: Think it couldn't happen? Think again. Gay people are coming, and the first place they're heading is for the playground quad, to have sex. (Pauses, breathes, drools slightly) With your children!
Mother: (Does the face spaz)
Fat Man: Don't let them get married because then they'll be in bigger groups, and better able to have sex with children. (Pauses, breaths, drools slightly) And you.
Mother: (Face explodes)
The child turns to face the screen.
Child: It's not that we don't want princes to marry princes and princesses to marry princesses.
Fat man: But life isn't a fucking fairy tale, people. It's just fucking.
Child: And if you agree (smiles, thumbs up, drools slightly) then vote for prop 8.
Fat Man + Child: Proposition Eight! (Pauses, breathes, drools slightly) Stop the hate!

You see, I sent mixed messages, to confuse everyone, had some action-y face exploding to draw in the stoned college kids, and wrapped it up at the end with a slogan that was both catchy and misleading.
Why am I not already in advertising?
The homophobia, that's why.

BTW: The pausing, and drooling room is because I don't want my actors to drop dead of the pure awesome that is my commercial. As well, I heard some heterosexuals need to breathe more, because of all the gay air that hangs around nowadays. They need it straight, people!